*Trainer Speak* Exposed

When I first got my trainer's license, I had several professional trainers of various disciplines "clue me in" on a piece of information they claimed would insure success in my business.

Would you like to know what it was?
okie dokie... but remember... you asked.

They said "Always remember that clients are like mushrooms... keep 'em in the dark, and feed 'em shit".

I'm not kidding.
This was recited to me over and over again with variations of the wording, but always the same message... 'never be completely honest with a client, and always make things sound better than they actually are'.

Of course, they weren't speaking of directly telling lies to their training clients... but rather about withholding certain information, and *sugarcoating* the rest to keep it palatable to horse owners.

Rather than educate me, these words confused and infuriated me; especially since these weren't considered fly-by-night or shyster trainers, but rather were successful and sought-after professionals, many with stellar reputations.

It's "Trainer Speak"... and if you've ever sent your horse for training, you've probably been exposed to it.

A form of mollycoddling designed to keep your checkbook open, it works fabulously on unicorn lovers, and has put many a trainer into that brand new F-250 they've been dreaming about, sent their kids through college, and/or paid off the mortgage on the ranch.

Ultimately, by playing to the vanities of their clients, and telling them only what they want to hear, they build and maintain their training business using public relations as their primary tool rather than their actual horsemanship skills (even though many of them ARE accomplished horsemen).

An example of "trainer speak" is today's cartoon.
Rather than tell lard-ass that he's too fat for his small horse, the trainer chooses to dance around the berry bush, sacrificing the welfare of the horse to preserve the owner's fragile feelings.

Of course the trainer's goal is to get the rider more suitably mounted, but not until the client has ingested an enormous amount of ummmmm... fertilizer... and of course, contributed the down payment for that new F-250.

The rider will buy a new saddle, find it doesn't fit the horse, and FINALLY purchase the larger horse he needs; but not until he has spent a lot of money on new tack and equipment, trainer 'consultant' fees, and chiropractic work for Itty Bitty's sore back. 
ca-ching, ca-ching, ca-ching.

I never bought into the "trainer speak" method of doing business... I'm too ethical I guess.

The ability to recognize "trainer speak" and translate the jargon into plain English can save you heartache and a lot of money when dealing with professionals; and believe it or not, those with the best *bedside manner* are the ones to watch out for the most as they are the most fluent in the art of carefully wording bad news so that it sounds like good news.

Here's an excerpt from an actual email I recieved from a friend who (until very recently) had her rambunctious OTTB at a respected and popular H/J trainer's barn to be "reborn" as a show horse since his racing career ended.  He had been there 4 months when this email was sent to the owner.
The horse owner forwarded it to me, saying that she was confused by some of what the trainer was telling her, and asked me to add some clarity if possible.  
Can you recognize and decipher the "trainer speak"?

***  "Skippy" is so beautiful and talented, thank you for the opportunity to work with him.  It has been a learning experience for both of us, and I look forward to the next stage of our journey together.
I would like to approach his training differently during the upcoming month however, as I feel we have rushed him into undersaddle work too quickly, and he needs time to relax and become more focused on his responses to my cues.
Lately, he has been a bit of a handful when asked to canter, and I've been forced to return to groundwork to resolve this issue amongst some other minor problems we're having.
Recently, he has lost some weight as well, and I've purchased a weight-gain supplement for him along with an all-natural calming supplement.
I'll attach copies of those invoices for you, and there's no rush to pay me back... you can add the cost to your next month's board & training check. 
I know that you were looking forward to coming out to ride him next week, and perhaps take him home, but at this point in time, it appears that we'll need to take him back to the round pen for awhile before restarting our undersaddle sessions again.
Skippy's talent and awesome beauty make him well worth the extra investment in time. ***

Let's see how well you did in reading between the lines.
What she was ACTUALLY saying:
 
*** "Skippy" is so beautiful and talented, thank you for the opportunity to work with him. It has been a learning experience for both of us, and I look forward to the next stage of our journey together.
"Buttering-Up" opening statement ... but there IS a clue to the fact that things aren't going well when she says 'it has been a learning experience for both of us'.
The main thing she has learned is that she's overmounted and outgunned on a racehorse.

I would like to approach his training differently during the upcoming month however, as I feel we have rushed him into undersaddle work too quickly, and he needs time to relax and become more focused on his responses to my cues.
Lately, he has been a bit of a handful when asked to canter, and I've been forced to return to groundwork to resolve this issue amongst some other minor problems we're having.
Translation:  'I'm scared to death of this horse and refuse to ride him anymore.  Because I can't control him, I'll be working him in the round pen from now til eternity... or at least as long as you're writing me checks.

Recently, he has lost some weight as well, and I've purchased a weight-gain supplement for him along with an all-natural calming supplement to help him adjust to his new lifestyle.
It's a shame how the racetrack ruins lovely horses like "Skippy".
This short paragraph is loaded with information...
In a desperate attempt to curb his "thoroughbredness",  she has either cut his grain back to the point where he's losing weight rapidly enough to concern her, OR she's running the weight off of him in the round pen trying to get him "tired enough" that she can ride him (probably riding in the round pen too).
At any rate, she's using supplements to control him rather than advancing his training... at the owner's expense.
The final sentence is nothing but a qualifier... a scam to divert owner attention away from herself.
By transfering blame for the horse's behavior to a previous trainer/situation/lifestyle, she tries to validate her own lack of progress.    

I'll attach copies of those invoices for you, and there's no rush to pay me back... you can add the cost to your next month's board & training check.
Decoded:  'Although these products are for MY benefit, you'll be paying for them... and I assume I've got you suckered in well enough with all this sugarcoating that you'll be a customer for a long time to come.'

I know that you were looking forward to coming out to ride him next week, and perhaps take him home, but at this point in time, it appears that we'll need to take him back to the round pen for awhile before restarting our undersaddle sessions again.
Skippy's talent and awesome beauty make him well worth the extra investment in time. ***
'Stay home... I don't want you poking around out here asking questions and finding out for yourself (by riding your horse) that I haven't accomplished a damned thing in the past 4 months.'
Followed by one last dose of sugar to keep the paychecks coming.

So there ya go... "Trainer Speak" deciphered into plain English.

So the question of the day from me is:
WHY is all that misleading and confusing poppycock from a trainer acceptable to horse owners?
I'm assuming it's because these sweet-mouthed trainers take the unpalatable and make it sound like dessert?

BTW...  on my recommendation, "Skippy" was promptly moved to a different training barn where he is now advancing acceptably in his education.