*Dis* Speaks Out on Critiques

Hey, Disgruntled Horse Trainer here...
I'm not going to introduce myself every time I write, so just put it in your head right now that if you open this page and see bold blue print, it's (it is) me. 
Sorry for the (  ).. it's an inside joke, and she'll get it.

First on my bitch-list is that I see I'm being censored right off the bat.
The unicorn is certainly NOT calling anyone an *idiot*.

Well, well, well... I see *Helpful* has been leading you guys around the berry bush and just confusing everybody (that'd be me) with a bunch of list writing and other poppycock in an effort to "assist you" in determining the worthiness of your relationship with your horse.

File those stupid lists in the circular where they belong, and listen up:

I'm gonna tell you how to know where you stand with your horse quick and easy, just by answering a few simple questions.

1]  When you're with your horse, are you BOTH relaxed and comfortable deep in your "happy place"?

2]  While riding isn't mandatory, most people like doing it; so when you're riding your horse, are you grinning from ear to ear?

3]  If not, decide whether it's a personality clash, a training issue, or rider error.  (hint: most of the time the correct answer is obvious, but ignored).

If it's a personality clash (like the Hell Horse lives in your stable and you fear for your safety) sell...sell...SELL.
You can't fix personality clashes between horses and riders that involve FEAR.  Just about anything else, yeah, you can fix... but not that.

If you think it's a Training Issue and your horse is anything beyond fresh-broke green, skip over that and go directly to Rider Error, the #1 cause of all horse misbehavior, disrespect, and accidents involving riders.

Now be honest with yourself and get a Riding Instructor... one with several school horses, so you're riding a steady stream of different horses and not getting "too familiar" with any of them.  You don't learn to ride horses by riding the same horse all the time, plus you're paying her good money for the opportunity to ruin ALL of her horses... so demand it.

Try to stay off of your own horse until you know what you're doing in the saddle... he's messed-up enough already, or you would have answered "yes" to the #2 question above.

If fear of your horse is a lingering issue,  the problem can often be solved with a simple downgrade to something less *sporty*... you're overmounted.

If you think you "love" your horse too much to sell him to a more suitable home where he'd be much happier while being ridden correctly, you deserve to bash your head against the wall trying to make the relationship "work".
Fearful riders/handlers make neurotic horses, and neurotic horses aren't anybody's partner.

If you just can't let go of the fear, face the fact that riding might not be your gig.  A mini with a cart might be the ticket, or just forget riding, and train your horse to do tricks.
I don't ride my personal horse (OTTB)... he's just my buddy.
Just be sure you have the right horse for the job.

Warning:  The best equine teachers for timid riders are often far from pretty, and for some reason seem to come in dull colors ... like brown.
They may be aged, or even slightly unsound.
But while they sometimes resemble Shrek more than Prince Charming, they bring a lot to the table in the way of safety and smarts.

Bringing in a Trainer to work with your horse is only applicable IF you are working to improve your riding skills, and aren't afraid of your horse... or if your horse is a greenie.
Trainers are teachers of horses... we can teach them to respond properly to cues, and solve behavior problems; but a trainer CANNOT resolve personality clashes, nor convince a horse to "like" it's owner.

In the case of personality mismatches, just sell him and find a better match... BOTH of you will be much happier with a different (more suitable) partner.

Remember: Horses want to know "what's in it for ME?", and toting a freaked-out, unbalanced rider isn't much incentive for good undersaddle behavior.

Quite Frankly, at least a third of the horses brought to me for trail training were just fine once they had a rider on their backs instead of a passenger.
Often, the acting out the owners described (wheeling, bucking, rearing, etc) never happened here, and was directed at THEM exclusively... the horse was retaliating in the only way he could against poor horsemanship, but was otherwise perfectly well trained when ridden correctly.

These same horses were usually beautiful, well-bred, and sensitive animals... NOT the attributes a novice needs whether she thinks she "wants" them or not.

I urge everyone to get a "been there, done that" starter horse.
They'll teach you what you need to know, and instill confidence.
You can always upgrade later on to a sportier model.

Final Factoid:  A very high percentage of people who refuse to "give up" on a mismatched relationship with their horse generally struggle to "make it work" for about 2 years before A]  They finally sell the horse and get the right one after spending thousand$ trying to solve unsolvable issues, and being miserable for two years while trying to enjoy their hobby.  OR  B]  Give up on horses entirely.

Why waste your time being unhappy in your hobby?
Doesn't make sense to me...