Today we're going to critique Dobbin in much the same way we assessed ourselves yesterday, using a "pros and cons" list to help us maintain a level head and realistic view of the big picture.
I know it's hard, but if you really want to know if your relationship with your horse is all it can be, this is essential.
Depending on how mired you are in the Unicorn Dream, accurately assessing your horse could take anywhere from a few minutes to several days... if you need time to distance yourself from Dobbin and observe him with clarity, take that time... you don't want to make mistakes.
There's a possibility that if you're totally unable to "get real", you may not be capable of performing this step at all... which would make it all just a colossal waste of time.
In that case, I suggest hiring a trusted and honest equine professional for a one-time evaluation (should be less than $100).
It's critical that emotions be kept under control, and that you think with your head and not your heart... or these lists you're making will be useless.
The whole gist of the exercise is to give you a black & white listing of merits and shortcomings of both yourself and your horse to compare in order to determine suitability to each other... or if you don't currently own a horse, to give yourself a "head start" on selecting a horse that matches your needs and will be a good partner to you.
It's absolutely of the utmost importance that you be totally REALISTIC and HONEST. Love cannot be involved!
If you can decipher a horse's body language and facial expressions, and have a working knowledge of decent conformation, you'll be way ahead of the game; but if you can't take a step back and observe Dobbin from the perspective of a disinterested third party, or are too new to horses to know them well, it'll take longer and be more difficult.
Please get a pro consultation if you're in doubt of your ability to critique your horse accurately.
OK, let's trot on down to the barn and rip your horse to shreds.
You're going to observe EVERYTHING about the horse from his general temperament to his potential athletic ability (or lack of it).
Hint: A quick way to get some insight into his attitude is vary your routine a little and see how he handles it.
For example: if you normally give him a treat upon arrival at the barn, withhold it... is he the same as always? Is he annoyed with you? Is he confused?
Did he lay his ears back when you failed to produce the treat?
Did he try mugging you for it by crowding?
Write this stuff down... pro or con as warrented.
Be sure you don't mistake disrespect from your horse for "love"...
although they're at opposite ends of the spectrum, they often appear quite similar on the surface.
Look him straight in the eye. (I know some of those fancy clinicians discourage this, but I disagree with avoiding a horse's gaze)... a confident horse will stare back into your eyes with a soft, calm expression.
This trait goes in the "plus" column in bold letters.
Make a point of noticing EVERYTHING... this may take several sessions.
Every flick of an ear, shift of weight from one foot to another, swish of the tail, etc... means something, either pro or con... so stay alert to his body language as you go through your normal routine.
Conformationally, you need only to address the strengths and weaknesses that directly apply to the type of riding you do.
For example: Those weak hocks are of little concern to a casual weekend trail rider, but are the kiss of death to a barrel racer.
Critique conformation according to discipline and your expectations for level of performance.
Mentally add to your lists as you ride... especially the *fun factor*.
If you're struggling to have fun, be sure it hits the "con" column.
Just be as thorough and complete as possible... even if it hurts.
Remember to be brutal... this is NOT your beloved Magic Unicorn... this is "just a horse" that you're assessing with the clarity of a realistic mind.
If you fail to do so, you won't be able to determine whether the match is truly a good one or not.
A bad match NEVER really "works".
Sure, on the surface, these mismatch unions may appear to be just fine, but the *connection* isn't there... I'm speaking of the bond of trust that makes a horse your partner instead of simply a form of transportation.
A vast majority of my trail training clients came to me with mismatched horses, and many of them had invested years of effort into "making it work"... to no avail.
In typical cases, the owners arrived here severely lacking confidence in both themselves and their horses, and more often than not, the horse was clearly in charge.
Those horse owners who were able to make changes within themselves to solve disparities between themselves and their horses had moderate success in "forcing" the relationship to work over time, but it required a dedication most people don't possess.
Others found the best solution to be finding a more suitable home for the horse, and purchasing a horse that better matched what they wanted and needed.
As you go over the lists of your own qualities compared with those of your horse, ask yourself this question:
Would I buy this horse again?
... and before you answer, be sure you are THINKING clearly.
Forget all of the *cute* things he's done, and how much you adore those long eyelashes... focus on the real-life aspects.. the things that really matter!
A good *match* is essential to success and having fun with horses.
Bear that in mind when you compare your lists... and remember:
BE REAL.
Which Unicorn in my barn should I assess? The old campaigner who looks at me like "really? can't I be retired yet" the over achiever that's very challenging to ride but makes me a better rider each and every time I hit the tack? this same mare will look you in the eye every day every time and blink at you to get the heck over here with some tack, or my youngster who will also blink at ya waiting for some attention? I do not feed treats so that's not an issue, and there are no disrespect issues (with the exception of spoiled mini) in my barn, all are treated with respect and have jobs to do.
ReplyDeleteI get hot under the collar just thinking about the horses I went through before I found my perfect horse. Not to mention the money I wasted, and the perfectly good horses that I practically ruined through my own shortcomings before they were found more suitable homes! It was not so much that I wasn't being honest with myself. It was more that I honestly didn't know what I needed! Hard experience and much soul searching finally brought me to the point of finding the perfect match.
ReplyDeleteOften, people who have worked with horses all their lives have so much knowledge and experience that they cannot conceive why others make the basic mistakes that they do in choosing a horse. There is a phrase that is stamped on certain military instructions. "Clear Only If Known" or "COIK". What that means is, that a set of instructions that seem perfectly clear to one reader may be like reading a foreign language to another reader, with the difference between the two readers being that one reader already knows a great deal about the topic and the other reader is a beginner! And I hope that explanation was CLEAR! Ha!
One thing I have learned in my life, is that one should never assume a level of experience and knowledge that cannot possibly be there, just because one has that experience and knowledge oneself. It is a common mistake, and I have been guilty of it in my line of work, particularly when I was supervising new teachers! It is easy to slip into this mistake, because if you KNOW this stuff, you tend to forget that once you didn't know it! This experiential knowledge must be gained by - yes- EXPERIENCE! Again, you might as well be speaking in a foreign language. So, having said that, I feel that this topic needs more exploration. Some examples and perhaps a few sample questions for guidance would be tremendously helpful! So, Cindy, please keep writing, and keep explaining these concepts in depth, for those of us who do not have your level of expertise and life experience with multiple horses!
Dr Elaine don't take offense at my pokes at Cindy, we are pals so I can make fun of her and my horses, she knows the kind of horseman I am :P
ReplyDeleteAnd quite honestly I KNOW why most beginners make the horse choice mistakes that they do.... Trigger is pretty is the #1 mistake that most beginners/novice make, #2 is papers thinking good bloodlines are a good match (made that one myself a time or two) most people think that they themselves will rise to the horse vs getting one that is suitable for them at the time. That very rarely happens, most of the time it is a train wreck for the horse.... and the riders insurance company... I am fortunate to yes be a life long rider and horseman and I still have horses that challenge me as a rider, note the above one mentioned, BUT the difference between myself and most is that #1 I can rise to the horses skills and #2 I am not afraid to get help from a trainer that is more skilled then myself.... How often have I read of people going out to look at a horse to buy without a professional person with them at the time????????? ALOT..........
ReplyDeleteEven having that professional along is no guarantee that the purchase will be the right one, and I speak from experience! Remember a certain halflinger, Cindy? It is a lot more complicated than that. It is the developing dynamic between the horse and the new owner that will make or break the relationship. Once that professional has gone home, once it is just the new horse and the new owner things can change rapidly. That horse isn't always the same horse once you get him home and begin working with him. Test riding a horse usually happens in an environment that the horse is accustomed to. He behaves well there on his home turf. All things are familiar, the horse is in his comfort zone. Then he is moved to a completely new environment, and he shows his disequilibrium in a variety of ways. THAT is when the whole thing can head south in a big hurry! If the new owner does not have the skill set to handle small problems as they arise, they can mushroom into larger issues. It is not helpful to oversimplify this problem. There are no easy answers!
ReplyDeleteHaving said all of the above, again, I want to emphasis that all of the problems I had were of my own making! As soon as I realized that i had made a mistake, I swallowed my pride, and turned once again to my professional horse trainer, Cindy, who kindly and patiently advised me and then sold my horses for me! Without her help, they would still be on my property and I will still be staring at them, admiring how pretty they are, and wishing I could ride them! And be totally broke! Ha!
ReplyDeleteAs Cindy said in her blog entry above, when you really face up to reality, and the reality turns out to be that you and your horse are not suited and never will be, selling your horse on to an excellent home is often the only viable option. I like to think that the horse will thank you, too! Give him a chance to shine for another rider, one who can respond appropriately to his needs.
One of the main reasons I turned to Cindy to sell the horses for me was that I knew that in order to sell a horse, you had to be able to present his strengths as well as his weaknesses. Hey, if you are too scared to ride the horse to show him, how are you ever going to sell him? If he is pushing you around because he has lost respect for your authority, if he is misbehaving due to your shortcomings, you are doing him a huge disservice by trying to sell him yourself.
So, to build on what Kristen said above, about taking the professional along to help buy a suitable horse, at the other end of that spectrum is having a professional sell your horse for you. Firstly, as I said, how can you show off a good horse if you are not an able enough rider to demonstrate his qualities? Also, it takes away the emotional factor. Meaning, I loved my horses dearly (the two that I sold on) and would have had a terrible time trying to let them go. Would any prospective buyer measure up? Would I be "snotty" when I should be accepting of a different style of "being" with horses? Silly, but hey, I know myself well.
A trainer/professional, can assess the horse, advertise him accurately, show him properly, discuss strengths and weaknesses with prospective buyers, and assess whether or not I, as the seller, would approve of the new home. A professional will be dispassionate but caring, businesslike not mercenary, sensible not emotional!
At either end, buying or selling, it is SO worth the professional's fee!
We all know there's an exception to every rule. Cindy, what did you think of Pronto Purchase when I took her off the trailer? ...lol...
ReplyDeleteI'm LOVING the feedback!
ReplyDeleteGood points being made all around... plenty of food for thought (and fodder for future topics) here!
Quite frankly Marci, the first time I saw Pronto Purchase (aka: Dream), I thought you were flippin' NUTZ to buy a racehorse with a chipped knee off the killer truck.
I have our pictures from the winner's circle that prove you were indeed NOT nutz. LOL
yeah, heart can win a couple races WITH the proper trainer. A claimer mare, Play it Hard (Roundtable), won on NOTHIN but class. :)
ReplyDelete